If you've been following me for awhile you know....
I’ve experienced infertility first hand, and you may be thinking that’s why I refer to our first child as our miracle baby, but there’s actually more to it than just that. Struggling to get pregnant was just the beginning of her story!
After two months of treatments which consisted of tests, prescriptions, ultrasounds, and injections, I threw my hands up. I had an absolute tantrum and cried all the time because I had done all the things. And I’d done them right, by the books. We had spent a lot of money, and although I told myself and my loved ones that I wasn’t going to put all my eggs in one basket or get my hopes too high, I had lied! I was so upset. So disappointed to wake up menstruating and not pregnant yet again. There’s nothing worse than being emotionally distraught after finding out treatment didn’t work AND having to deal with period cramps!
After allowing myself time to heal and to celebrate my sister’s wedding, we decided to give it another go, adding a procedure that would increase our chances by 6%, which is a lot in the world of fertility! Mentally I had given into defeat. Not completely, but I wasn’t positive like the other times before. I started thinking and becoming angry about why my late grandma and father in law weren’t helping us. And that if it didn’t happen this time, I didn’t know what we would do because I couldn’t continue to do this!
So in that moment with lots of negativity and false hope, we received the best news ever! It had worked! We were pregnant!!! I couldn’t believe it!
Overall I had a healthy pregnancy. The only real complication happened at 12 weeks. I had been at work all morning, and I remember feeling really good that day. My energy level was improving and I just remember feeling really happy.
That feeling was short lived because when I took a bathroom break early afternoon I went into a complete panic when I noticed I had filled the toilet with blood. I took a couple deep breaths, gathered my things, jumped in my car, and headed to the hospital. On my way, I contacted the midwife group and they happened to have an opening in clinic. The office was attached to the hospital so we both felt comfortable with this approach. I remember praying, crying, and thinking there is no way that I’m losing this baby, not after everything we had been through. But in that same moment, I also thought, of course I was miscarrying. What else could this be? The midwife was so sweet. So kind and gentle. She asked if I was ok with just checking for a heartbeat with a Doppler and then we would go from there. I agreed. After what felt like forever, partly because I was freaking out and partly because it can take time to find a heartbeat with a Doppler when your baby is that small, I heard the sweetest sound! Her heart was beating!!! And she sounded healthy! We never did figure out answers that day. We still don’t have them, but I have a theory which I’ll explain soon. So the midwife chalked it up to unexplained bleeding. Told us our baby sounded good and sent us on our way.
After delivering McKenzie at 39W and 5D (her birth story deserves its own blog, which will come soon, meaning probably another year or two), is when we really started to understand just how much of a miracle she really is!
After you deliver your baby, you then deliver the placenta, the organ that has been supplying your baby with nutrients throughout the pregnancy. Seeing my placenta made me even more grateful and gave me some answers, or at least has helped support my theory.
McKenzie had an extremely rare and unique placenta, like less than 1% rare. Her placenta had a marginal valementous cord. The marginal part isn’t as rare, but adds increase risks. Instead of the umbilical cord attaching to the center of the placenta, it attached to the side. But the valementous part is the less than 1% part, which meant my baby survived an entire pregnancy with a cord that wasn’t directly attached to the placenta, but only by the arteries. Leaving them completely exposed and vulnerable to be damaged. Again, this is where all of the nutrients are transferred to your baby in order for them to grow. The placenta also contained multiply lobes and the cord had additional arteries. See, i told you! Weird! So many factors that added SO many risks and my baby was born perfectly healthy!
So here’s my theory. Because of all the increased hormones and synthetic drugs, my body prepared for triplets that pregnancy and at 12 weeks when the embryos didn’t take, my body got rid of that material, and McKenzie stayed put! And she continued to grow and remained so strong for all those months! This theory made even more sense to me after I conceived the twins. My body clearly responds to multiples, with the help of drugs of course.
If you don’t buy my theory, that’s ok. It’s more for me anyway. But if I am wrong, and that insane amount of bleeding wasn’t what I think it was, McKenzie still held on tight for her mama, even through all the increase risks and symptoms a placenta like this can cause. She knew I couldn’t handle anymore heartache. She knew I was ready to be a mom. And she knew she was made to be mine.
So that’s the story. She is our miracle baby, not only because we had such a hard time getting pregnant, but also because she survived and beat the odds with some very rare circumstances.