Hi! My name is Whitney Sperry and I’ve been a kindergarten teacher for most of my teaching career. Throughout my years of teaching 5 and 6-year-olds, I’ve seen and connected with many parents and students who are experiencing the emotional and very new and unfamiliar season of sending their first child to kindergarten. While this experience is unique and universal (if that makes sense) to every parent, each parent uniquely experiences the season of letting their child grow up and have their own little space in this world, apart from them. There is a magnitude of thoughts and emotions prior to, and the day of sending their child to kindergarten.

My hope is that this post gives you food for thought & practical tips to help make this transition to kindergarten as smooth as possible for both you and your child. I want this to help you and your child navigate “all the feels” of this new season with grace.

Maybe this is you. Perhaps you’re anxiously awaiting your child’s first day in Kindergarten and not feeling the least bit prepared to do so (even though you’ve known this day was coming for years now). You’re wondering if what your feeling is “normal” or if you’re the only one feeling like you never, ever want to let that day come.

Let me reassure you. You’re not alone. Did you hear me? You’re not alone. This day is a big day for both you and your child and you need to let your mama heart breathe and experience the excitement and loss.

Kindergarten is a huge turning point in a child’s life and that first year experience has a lasting impact on their attitude towards school, achievement potential, and self-esteem. When kids transition to kindergarten it’s a milestone for not only them but for their family as well. Children are gaining self-confidence and learning about others, themselves and their world.

Breathe. Give yourself permission to feel what your mama heart needs to. This is a deeply emotional time for moms and dads as they prepare to send their first child to kindergartener (It gets easier your second time, by the way). In a way, you’re saying “goodbye” to your child’s beginning, dependent years with you and are embracing a new season for them where they learn more independence, ask for help from another adult and have their own space to call their own in this world.

Your thoughts and emotions may be similar to my friend, Brigette:

“I was deathly afraid, yes deathly, afraid to send my first born child to Kindergarten. For a whole day, 7 hours, 5 days a week with a complete stranger. I had to put my trust in someone who I met for maybe 10 minutes at an open house before school… What helped me get through those first couple weeks of sending my child off to school with a complete stranger, believe it or not, was the stranger herself! If it wasn't for my child's teacher. I don't think those first days, weeks and even the first year would have went as well as it did. My child's teacher let me do what I felt comfortable doing. I could bring my child in every morning and sit with her until I felt she was ok to be left alone with her teacher. Her teacher would send me pictures and chats throughout the day on Class Dojo, which is a great app for teachers and parents to have for communication. As the days and weeks went by I started to feel more comfortable with the fact that my child would be at school during the day without me. If it wasn't for my child's teacher, I think I would have homeschooled…”

If I could emphasize ONE thing that I’ve seen that set apart unhealthy families from healthy ones is their ability to communicate. Period. How do you talk and respond to each other? Is your child comfortable expressing their thoughts and concerns to you and your husband? Are you guiding him/her to find the right answer or always telling them? YOU ,as the parent, model what healthy (or unhealthy) communication looks like and your child will follow suit. I see it all the time. The more you can be the first source of information for them the better.

My good friend, Kendra, writes how she and her husband did this:

“My husband and I took Taylor out for dinner and "back to school shopping". During this dinner (at the restaurant of her choice) we took time to talk to Taylor about a few things about beginning kindergarten in regards to our family expectations for behavior. Not only in her studies but in how she should handle herself with other students and with her teacher. We also talked about having open communication about all things that happen at school and that no matter what she is always able to come to either of us about anything and everything. This time talking and just spending some time with Taylor listening to her concerns and thoughts about kindergarten was very special to my husband and I.”

This isn’t overly complicated yet it’s about being intentional about these conversations and expectations. Children will rise or fall to what you expect of them. How do you expect them to treat other students (those who are like them or unlike them.)? How should they treat their teacher? What are some ways to respond if they have friend problems (which they will)?

These are all conversations that I would encourage you to have with your child and make it special for them. Let them know you’re their biggest cheerleader and want what’s best for them. Having these conversations give you all a time and place to process what’s happening and going to happen.

When your child goes to school, they’re entering a school system and the kicker is, you can have a part in it too. There are so many unique ways for you to be involved in your child’s school experience and no matter what your schedule is, there is room for everyone at the table. Depending on your schedule, season of life and availability, you may or may not be able to regularly volunteer at your child’s school; and listen up...that’s okay! There are many options in what that looks like, that I’m sure you can find just the right fit for you .

Before we explore them, here’s what one mama said of her ability to volunteer within her child’s classroom:

“ I made it a point to become involved in my daughter’s school. I had the privilege of being able to volunteer weekly in her class and visit the class regularly. During these times I was able to get to know her classmates and her teacher. Being a teacher is an amazing calling. These dedicated people serve our children and therefore us in a tremendous way. I would highly encourage parents to get to know their child's teacher. Find out their likes, their birthday, things they need in the classroom and ways you can come alongside them to aid in your child's education. Learning is not only done at school, it is a team effort between the student, parents and teaching staff. A positive relationship and support at home of the teacher and other school staff speaks volumes to your child. When you get to know your child's teacher and see the heart they have for their vocation will truly help to ease any fears you may have for sending them off. We gave our daughter’s teacher a form at the beginning of the school year. This was very helpful to provide ideas for little gifts/surprises throughout the year. “

I will say that being able to come in and build relationships with your child’s classmates is an amazing privilege; it helps you gain an appreciation for all that is involved with teaching (and it’s not all fun and games).

Being apart of your child’s school might mean sending random, uplifting notes or gifts to their teacher (I’ve never said “No” to a surprise cup of Chai tea latte from Caribou Coffee. Never.) or being willing to prep crafts (or whatever) the teacher needs in the convenience of your home.

You can also look into volunteering at classroom or school wide events such as a field trip, science fair, talent show, etc. Whatever it is, there is a spot for you in your child’s school.

As a teacher, I’ve been apart of countless meetings with my boss and fellow teachers on the vision we have for our school and the type of student we want leaving it. Once we figure out what we want that student to be equipped with and look like when they leave our school as a senior, it helps us fill in the rest. I believe this principle is applicable to parenting as well.

Your responsibility as a parent is to guide your child and train them to become________________. You fill in the blank. Do you want your child to be kind, caring, independent? Or perhaps you want them to be an informed citizen who thinks creatively. Whatever that blank looks like for you, find ways to have your child be apart of activities, events, opportunities that support that. What values do you want your child to be influenced by. This should direct how you parent. How you “Mom”.

Allowing your child a space to practice what you teach at home is a very empowering feeling for your child. They will come up against challenges that they will need to learn how to navigate.