When Your Birth Plan Meets a Closed Door: Advocating for your Doula in the OR
A hospital policy changed 36 hours before her C-section. Here’s how she advocated for her doula, her birth plan, and her peace of mind.
On March 2nd, our son came into the world — and the story of how he got here is one I feel compelled to share, not to vent, but because I believe it matters for every woman who is pregnant, planning a birth, or simply navigating a medical system that doesn’t always put patients first.
I had known for months that I would need a C-section. So my husband, my OB Dr. Melinda Zhang at OGI, and I planned meticulously. And at the center of that plan was my doula, Stephanie Sinclair.
The plan was solid — until it wasn't
We had a scheduled belly birth at North Memorial Hospital in Maple Grove on March 2nd. My OB was fully on board with Stephanie being in the OR. We had confirmed this plan over five and a half months of appointments. I saw Dr. Zhang that very Friday before my Monday scheduled delivery and we were aligned.
Then Saturday evening at 8 p.m., a pre-op call changed everything.
A nurse walked me through routine pre-surgery instructions — and then told me that only one person would be allowed in the OR. Their policy had changed. Two weeks prior, apparently. Because of a new anesthesiologist team.
No one had told me. No one had told my OB.
"I should have been resting and mentally preparing to bring my son into the world — not scrambling to resolve a logistical crisis less than 36 hours before surgery."
The charge nurse on duty that Saturday night confirmed: no doula in the OR. I made clear that was not acceptable. I told her I would either have Stephanie with me or I would go elsewhere. Then I sat down and wrote an email to my doctor.
The email I sent — because sometimes you have to put it in writing
I want to share this email because I think it’s a useful example of how to advocate for yourself clearly, calmly, and with urgency. The subject line was: Urgent Response Required.
The email I sent
Subject: Urgent response required
To Dr. Melinda Zhang · Saturday, March 1st · 10:00 p.m.
Dear Dr. Zhang,
I received a pre-surgery prep call from a pre-op nurse at Maple Grove Hospital this evening and want to make sure you are informed of a significant concern that has come up less than 36 hours before my scheduled C-section.
The pre-op nurse walked me through the standard pre-surgery instructions, no eating after 5:00 a.m., no liquids after 11:00 a.m., antibacterial soap wash, and skin-to-skin contact as quickly after delivery as possible, all of which I am prepared for and in agreement with.
However, I was then informed that Maple Grove is introducing a new one-person-in-the-OR policy, driven by the anesthesia team. This does not work for me. As you and I have discussed throughout this pregnancy, including when I saw you just this past Friday, both my husband and my doula, Stephanie Sinclair with How2Mom, are expected to be present for this birth. This has always been the plan that we have discussed in our appointments.
Learning of this policy change 36 hours before surgery is unacceptable. I should be resting and mentally preparing to bring my beautiful baby into the world, not scrambling to resolve a logistical crisis that the hospital should have brought up throughout the planning process of the birth plan, as this information would have changed my plan.
I am asking for your support to advocate on my behalf with the anesthesia team and hospital administration to allow both my husband and Stephanie in the OR on Monday. Stephanie is a seasoned professional who has supported deliveries at both Maple Grove and Fairview Edina for well over a decade.
If Maple Grove is unwilling to accommodate this, I need to know immediately so that I can explore my options, including delivery at Fairview Edina.
Please respond via the portal or call me as soon as possible. Monday is less than two days away and I'm now feeling anxious about the birth plan.
Sent from my phone, late on a Saturday night, to the doctor I trusted most.
Sunday: a day that should have been rest
Instead of preparing my mind and body, I spent Sunday on the phone — with the charge nurse, the anesthesiologist, and the doctor on call. The hospital blamed the anesthesia team. The anesthesia team (a third-party contractor) blamed the hospital. No one took ownership. No one offered solutions.
That same day, Stephanie emailed the administration at both North Memorial and Fairview Southdale Hospital in Edina. Fairview responded promptly and welcomed her. North Memorial never replied — despite the fact that Stephanie had supported a delivery there just three weeks earlier.
Monday morning: Dr. Zhang came through
At 8:15 a.m. on the morning of my scheduled C-section, Dr. Zhang called. She had spent an hour on the phone with North Memorial advocating for me. They would not budge. They would not allow my doula. They would not reimburse me for the disruption.
She had secured an OR at Fairview Southdale Hospital at 1 p.m. We made the call. We went to Fairview Southdale Hospital instead of North Memorial Maple Grove.
And we were welcomed with open arms.
"Stephanie kept my nervous system calm during the spinal tap. She recorded the full delivery and took photos that we will treasure for the rest of our lives."
What Stephanie made possible
In that OR, Stephanie was everything. She helped us understand every option presented to us. She supported me in conversations with the anesthesiologist. She kept my nervous system regulated through one of the most vulnerable moments of my life. She documented our son’s arrival in a way that no one else could have.
Without her, my birth story and my birth plan would have been very different.
What this story is really about
I want to be clear: this is not just my story. I am sharing it because I am worried about the women who cannot advocate for themselves the way I did. Women who don’t know they have options. Women who don’t have a doula in their corner, or a doctor willing to fighting for them.
North Memorial changed a significant policy two weeks before my delivery and communicated it to no one — not patients with upcoming scheduled surgeries, and to my knowledge not the OBs who had spent months building birth plans around it. That is a systemic failure, and it deserves to be named.
Two things I want every pregnant woman to know
- You have the right to a birth team that supports you. If a hospital or provider won’t honor that, you can go elsewhere — even at the last minute.
- A doula is not a luxury. She is an advocate, an educator, a calm presence, and often the person who makes the difference between the birth you planned and the birth that just happens to you.
Gratitude
I am profoundly grateful to Dr. Melinda Zhang for spending her Monday morning fighting for her patient instead of taking the easy road. I am grateful to Fairview Southdale Hospital and their incredible surgical and postpartum nursing team — the three days we spent there were genuinely beautiful. And I am grateful, endlessly, to Stephanie Sinclair and the How2Mom team, who did not let a hospital policy become the story of my son’s birth.
Find your Stephanie. Find your Dr. Zhang.
Know your options. And know that you are allowed to walk out the door.
This post was written by a client of Stephanie Sinclair at How2Mom. It has been shared with her permission and with the hope that it reaches another woman who needs to hear it.
Thank you for Being Here!
Meet How2Mom
We are experts in all things birth and postpartum. We are more than doulas - we are your centralized place for informed education and support for your journey of motherhood.
How2Mom Services
Our premier doula agency in the Twin Cities specializes in Birth Doula Services, Postpartum Doula Services, Placenta Encapsulation, and Lactation Counseling and MORE including on demand courses.
Pin This Blog
Any/all of the links in this blog may be affiliate links of which How 2 Mom, LLC receives a small commission, without any additional cost to you. Using affiliate links help us maintain our website, continue to provide for our community, and support our families, and we are forever grateful for your support!
