Social Media and Motherhood: Helpful, Hurtful, or Both?
If you’ve ever found yourself scrolling at midnight while nursing a baby, wondering why everyone else seems to be doing this so much better than you, you’re not alone.
A lot of the moms I work with are doing the same thing.
Social media and motherhood are deeply tangled right now. And the relationship is complicated. For some moms, it’s a lifeline. For others, it quietly feeds the overwhelmed mom spiral that already feels hard to climb out of.
So what’s actually happening when moms are on social media? And how do we use it in a way that supports mental health rather than chipping away at it?
Let’s talk through it.
Why Moms Are Turning to Social Media
Motherhood can feel incredibly isolating, especially in those early weeks and months. Additionally, many moms feel a responsibility to seek information, do research, and continue to expand their understanding of their child or parenting issues.
What we’re seeing in practice is that moms often turn to social media looking for three things: connection, information, and reassurance. And our phones are usually a reach away and getting information is so easy and accessible.
Moms want to know: Is this normal? Is anyone else feeling this way? What worked for someone else?
Those are real and valid needs. And for many moms, social media is the most accessible place to meet them, especially in the middle of the night when a Google search feels too clinical and no one else is awake.
We see moms searching for answers about sleep, feeding, postpartum anxiety, relationship shifts, and the quiet grief that can come with losing yourself in motherhood. Social media can feel like the fastest path to support when everything else feels out of reach.
How Social Media Can Actually Help
When social media is working well for moms, it creates something really meaningful: a sense of “me too.”
Finding a community of other moms who are in it with you can reduce the loneliness that comes with new motherhood. It normalizes the hard parts. It reminds moms that struggle is not a sign of failure. Modern motherhood places enormous pressure on moms to “do it all” and do it alone, which history would argue is not the best way to move through parenthood for mothers or children. Social media can provide quick source of connection when someone really needs it.
Research supports this. A 2022 review published in the National Library of Medicine found that online peer support communities can reduce feelings of isolation and improve maternal well-being, particularly for moms with limited in-person support networks. I will recommend certain social media accounts for vetted information about motherhood and parenting to my clients, especially if they are lacking support.
Social media can also be a genuinely helpful source of parenting information. Following accounts led by doulas, therapists, lactation consultants, and other perinatal professionals means moms have access to real, informed guidance between appointments.
When used with intention, it can be a space where moms feel seen, supported, and a little less alone.
When Social Media Starts to Hurt
Here’s where it gets more complicated.
What I’m also seeing in practice is that social media can quietly make things harder, especially for a mom who is already stretched thin.
Comparison. The curated nature of social media means what we see is almost never the full picture. Yet our brains compare anyway. When any mom sees highlight reels of seemingly effortless motherhood, it can deepen feelings of inadequacy, guilt, and shame. Social comparison in motherhood is not new, but social media amplifies it in a way that feels constant and inescapable. Research published in Frontiers in Psychology links heavy social media use to increased appearance-related and lifestyle-based social comparison, both of which affect maternal well-being. I see clients that can simultaneously know they are seeing the surface picture of someone’s life, but still experiencing increased self-doubt and feeling of inadequacy.
Misinformation. Not all parenting content is created equal. Social media is full of well-meaning but inaccurate advice. Moms searching for answers about postpartum anxiety, infant sleep, or feeding can easily land on content that is outdated, oversimplified, or outright wrong. That can create more fear and confusion, not less. Social media influences are often posting about their own personal experience and generalizing this should be everyone’s experience, which is dangerous.
Too much information. Even when the content is accurate, the volume can be overwhelming. Moms can fall into a research spiral that leaves them more anxious than when they started. Information overload is one of the most common patterns I see in practice, and it is worth naming. We know that anxiety can increase with TOO much information, despite our brains thinking more information is always “good”.
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5 Ways to Use Social Media in a Way that Supports your Mental Health
The goal is not necessarily to avoid social media altogether-for some clients, I might recommend a temporary “break” from it. For many moms, it genuinely serves a purpose.
What can help is being more intentional about how and when we use it. Here are some options to consider:
1. Curate and filter your feed
This is my #1 recommendation. What we follow shapes how we feel. If certain accounts consistently leave you feeling worse, that is information. Unfollow, mute, or limit those. Be aware the algorithm sees what you’re looking at and will feed you more of that, and you don’t have full control over what you are exposed to. Seek out accounts that feel grounding, honest, and human rather than performative.
2. Block or limit triggering content.
Most platforms now allow you to filter specific topics or keywords. Using these tools puts more control back in your hands.
3. Reduce overall time on the app.
Even 15 to 30 fewer minutes a day can make a noticeable difference in mood and mental load. Screen time limits, app timers, and phone-free windows during feeding or bedtime are small shifts that add up over time. Evaluate when you tend to be on social media the most-during feedings, late night wakings or nap time? Think about other activities you can do during these times.
4. Build other sources of information.
Social media works best as one of many resources, not the only one. Connecting with a doula, therapist, midwife, or pediatrician means you have trusted, personalized guidance that exists outside of the algorithm. I even recommend clients get a physical book they can hold and read about parenting and baby information-have this be your “go-to” as well as your pediatrician/doctor.
5. Check in with how you feel after scrolling.
This one is simple but worth practicing. Feeling more anxious, irritable or hearing more self-doubting thoughts are a signal to you. If a pattern of feeling worse follows a certain app or account, your nervous system is giving you data. It’s worth listening to it.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is social media bad for moms' mental health?
Not automatically. It depends a lot on how it is being used and what is being consumed. Social media can be a genuine source of support and connection. It is important to note that and support and connection within social media cannot replace being in-person with others and reciprocal relationships. What we’re seeing is that the harm tends to come from passive scrolling, comparison-heavy content, and relying on it as a primary source of information without other supports in place.
How much social media is too much for a new mom?
There is no universal number. What matters more than the clock is how you feel after. If social media is leaving you more anxious, more depleted, or more disconnected from your own experience, that is a signal worth paying attention to, regardless of how long you have been on it. It can also be helpful to think about what else you would be doing if you got back the time you spend on social media-are there other activities or experiences that would bring you joy or relaxation? Could you take an hour from social media time and invest it in another activity instead?
What kinds of accounts are actually helpful to follow?
Accounts led by real professionals in perinatal care, including doulas, therapists, lactation consultants, and midwives, tend to offer more grounded, evidence-informed content. Accounts that normalize the unfiltered parts of motherhood can also be genuinely supportive. A simple test: how do you feel after you see their content?
What if social media feels like my only source of support?
This is more common than people realize, especially in the postpartum period. If social media is filling a connection gap, it may be worth exploring what other support could look like. That might be a local mom group, a therapist who specializes in maternal mental health, or a postpartum doula who offers ongoing care.
Can social media make postpartum anxiety worse?
Social media is unlikely to cause postpartum anxiety on its own. But for a mom who is already navigating a vulnerable season, constant comparison, information overload, or exposure to fear-based content can intensify anxiety. If postpartum anxiety is something you are working through, it is worth talking with a professional about what role social media might be playing.
We're in this With You
Social media is so accessible, and offers some positives, so not using it at all isn’t realistic for most moms.
What we want is for every mom to feel like she has real agency over how she uses it and what it does to her.
If social media is leaving you feeling more like yourself, more supported, more grounded, that is worth keeping. If it is quietly feeding the overwhelmed mom spiral, it is worth looking at honestly and without judgment.
You get to decide what serves you. And you deserve support in figuring that out.
This post was written by Kendra Olson at Psychotherapy for Maternal Well-Being, who specializes in supporting moms through the mental and emotional layers of the perinatal journey. If you are looking for personalized care, reach out to learn more about what that support could look like for you.
Looking for more resources related to the mental load and motherhood? Check out my blog on my website https://www.pfmwellbeing.com/blog and follow me on Instagram @pfmwellbeing . I also offer a monthly newsletter-sing up on my website main page over at https://www.pfmwellbeing.com/
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