Infertility Awareness Week: What It Means, How to Show Up, and Where to Find Support
Infertile.
It’s a word that carries so much weight. And for anyone who has dreamed of becoming a parent, hearing it can feel like the ground shifting beneath you.
This Infertility Awareness Week, we want to sit with that. Not rush past it, not offer a silver lining too quickly. Just acknowledge that infertility is one of the hardest things a person can walk through, and that you deserve real support while you’re in it.
Whether you’re in the thick of your own journey, supporting someone you love, or just starting to ask questions, this is for you.
What Infertility Actually Means
Infertility is generally defined as not being able to get pregnant after one year (or longer) of unprotected sex. According to the CDC, about 12% of women aged 15 to 44 in the US experience infertility. You may have heard the phrase “1 in 8.” That’s the reality for a lot of families.
What’s worth naming clearly: infertility is not a personal failure. It’s a medical diagnosis. It can involve one or both partners. And it looks different for every single person who receives it.
Treatment Options Worth Knowing About
One of the things we hear often is that people don’t know where to start when they get a diagnosis. There are actually several paths forward, and what makes sense depends on a lot of individual factors.
Infertility can be addressed through medication, surgery, intrauterine insemination (IUI), or assisted reproductive technology like IVF. Some of these can be managed with a primary care provider or midwife. Others involve a specialist called a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE).
When providers recommend a treatment path, they typically consider the underlying cause, how long infertility has been a factor, the age of the person carrying, and what the couple wants after reviewing success rates and risks.
One thing that doesn’t get talked about enough: in many states, fertility treatments are still considered “elective” by insurance companies. That means the financial weight of medications, monitoring appointments, and procedures often falls entirely on the family. It’s a real barrier—and it deserves to be named.
Here in Minnesota, there’s hope and momentum for change through the work of Minnesota Building Families Act, a nonprofit initiative I’m proud to be a member of and advocate for. Since 2022, this group has been working tirelessly to pass legislation that would require insurance coverage for infertility diagnosis and treatment, including IVF. The bill also supports fertility preservation for cancer patients and others at risk of medically induced infertility, and ensures that the definition of infertility is inclusive—recognizing LGBTQ+ individuals and those who are unpartnered.
Progress takes time, but meaningful change is within reach. If this matters to you—or someone you love—I encourage you to learn more, get involved, and lend your voice. Together, we can help make building a family more accessible for everyone.
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine has thorough, balanced resources if you’re looking to understand your options in more depth.
What to Say (and What Not to Say) to Someone Going Through Infertility
If someone in your life is navigating infertility, you want to show up for them. That instinct is the right one. But sometimes the words we reach for, even from a loving place, can land harder than we intend.
Here's what can hurt, even when it comes from care:
1) Tell them to "relax and it will happen"...
This is a common misconception by those who don’t suffer from infertility. Relaxation can’t cure imbalances or structural anatomy. Please be cautious about saying this as it often stresses infertile people out more. Believe us, if all it took was some self-care and a trip to the spa…we would GLADLY pursue that treatment option.
2) Suggest Adoption
Though this often comes from a loving place, it isn’t that simple. Adoption comes with it’s own heartache! Many couples wait an extremely long time to be given the opportunity to be placed with a child and sometimes, things fall through. This is NOT a simple solution to infertility struggles. And though adoption is an AMAZING and beautiful thing, many couples cannot afford the various fees that add up over time through the process.
3) Ask whose "fault" it is
The reason for a couple’s infertility is extremely personal. If they are openly willing to talk about it, lend an ear! But never ask who is at “fault” for struggles conceiving. This can leave lasting wounds.
4) Tell them you know how they feel because you didn't get pregnant right away...
Taking some time to conceive is common. Telling someone who may have struggled for years – decades that it took several months for you can be very hurtful. Also, most infertile couples have tried all the basics such as ovulation kits, ect. Please use caution in acting as though you can sympathize or suggest things you did to track your cycles.
5) Ignore their struggle
Don’t treat your loved one like their fertility is “taboo” and shouldn’t be discussed. This will only make them feel more isolated and different and they need to feel loved and accepted just the way they are.
What genuinely helps:
1) Listen to them
Lend an ear. Let them cry. Let them be angry. Let them vent. Or, let them rant about something random to distract themselves. Overall, be present. Infertility can create an extremely isolating feeling.
2) Offer to go with to appointments
Be there with them when they need you most. Often, fertility treatment cycles include MANY appointments and people have to attend numerous ones alone. Having a friend or family member offer to be there if their significant other can’t be, means the world.
3) Share your pregnancy news
Don’t hide your joy! Most people pursuing infertility treatment have a strong love of babies and will be able to feel excited for you too. Just understand, if they need some space from events like showers/holidays. A person with infertility can love their pregnant family/friends and still have strong internal pain underneath their true excitement for you.
4) Support them if they choose to continue treatment, or stop
Saying Infertility treatment can be a LOT is an understatement. It is ALL CONSUMING. One can only completely understand this if they have gone through it. Be there to support your friend if they are actively pursuing treatment, choosing to take a break, or wavering back and forth!
5) Research
Having someone willing to research about your specific diagnosis, treatment, or plans is incredible. Be the friend/family member who cares enough to educate yourself on what your loved one is going through!
The Emotional Weight No One Warns You About
What we don’t talk about enough is how infertility reshapes a person’s sense of self.
It touches identity. It strains relationships. It creates a kind of loneliness that’s hard to describe, because on the outside, life looks normal. But inside, you’re carrying something enormous.
The waiting. The two-week waits. The injections and bloodwork and ultrasounds and phone calls. The grief of a cycle that didn’t work. The complicated feelings that come up around announcements and baby showers and seemingly effortless pregnancies.
We see all of it. And we want you to know it makes sense to feel exactly the way you feel.
Research published through the American Psychological Association has noted that the psychological impact of infertility can be comparable to other serious medical diagnoses. This isn’t small. It deserves real support.
You Don't Have to Navigate this Alone
One thing that changes everything in this journey is finding people who actually get it.
That’s part of why our dear friend and How2Mom client, Liz Krueger created the Infertility Inner Circle, a community for those walking through infertility. It’s a space to feel less alone, share honestly, and be surrounded by people who understand in a way that’s hard to put into words.
We also offer Fertility Doula Services for those who want personalized guidance and emotional support throughout the trying to conceive process. A fertility doula doesn’t replace your medical team. What we do is walk alongside you, help you understand your options, advocate for you in appointments, and hold space for all the hard parts that happen between them.
Whether you’re just starting to explore or you’ve been in the thick of this for a while, having someone in your corner who is both informed and emotionally present can change how this journey feels.
Frequently Asked Questions About Infertility
How long do you have to try before infertility is diagnosed?
The general guideline is one year of unprotected sex without conception for women under 35, and six months for women 35 and older. If there’s a known condition like irregular cycles, endometriosis, or a previous diagnosis, it’s worth talking to a provider sooner.
Can a fertility doula help if I'm in the middle of IVF or IUI?
Yes. A fertility doula can provide support at any stage, whether you’re just starting to navigate options or you’re already in an active treatment cycle. The emotional and logistical support is helpful throughout.
Is Infertility always a female factor?
No. Infertility can involve one or both partners. Male factor infertility accounts for about a third of cases, female factor another third, and the remaining cases involve both partners or are unexplained. It’s a couple’s journey, even when it doesn’t always feel that way.
What if treatment hasn't worked? Is there still support available?
Absolutely. The grief of unsuccessful treatment is real, and it deserves space. Whether someone is continuing to try, taking a break, or stepping away from treatment entirely, support is still available and still matters.
What makes the Infertility Inner Circle different from other support groups?
It’s a curated community for people who are genuinely in it. It’s not a place for unsolicited advice or toxic positivity. It’s a place to be honest about how hard this is, with people who already know.
We See You
If you started reading this today because infertility is part of your story, we want you to know: you are not alone in this, and your feelings make complete sense.
This Infertility Awareness Week, and every week after it, we’re here.
Join us in the Infertility Inner Circle on Instagram to connect with a community that gets it.
And if you’re looking for more hands-on support as you navigate your journey, learn more about our Fertility Doula Services at how2mom.com.
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